요즘 여성들이 왜 아이를 안 낳으냐는 질문에 대한 어느 여성의 대답…
I remember when I was in elementary school talking to my friends about our plans for the future. I studied in a very small school that only had one group per grade. The school was so small that even one of the groups had only one kid (yep, that small). We were the only girls in my class, five to be exact. So we were on recess discussing the future instead of play pretending we were the Spice Girls. Three of the girls wanted to follow their moms’ steps and have a job in an office; another worshiped her father so much she wanted to become a businessman like him; and then there I was, not knowing what to answer. My mom studied Medicine, but I was certain I didn’t want to be a doctor ,and my father had his own design firm but the work seemed so stressful, it wasn’t that appealing to me. Since I was 5, I had been in love with history so it seemed right that I would become a historian. I didn’t really know what historians did, I thought you had to dig out mummies and discover lost cities, like in those TV documentaries. So I simply said, “I want to be a historian.” All of them looked at me weirdly until someone changed the subject.
“So, when do you want to get married and have kids?” What?! I was a seven-year-old girl who had just decided her future career! Yet, they all knew how old they’d be, how many babies they’d have, even their names and where they’d live. The only missing element was Prince Charming, but he’d arrive when he needed to. Basically their lives were all planned out. Like a deer in the headlights, I didn’t know what to say, so I just shrugged and said the ages when my mom got married and had me: 27 and 28. Now, I’m 26 years old and I’m nowhere close to having that life. But to be honest, I don’t really want to have that life either; there are so many things I want to achieve, and having kids and a husband aren’t really on my plans.
I don’t think it’s just me. for some reason, having a family isn’t the life goal of many people anymore. So, what’s changed? Perhaps, everything. For starters, leading an independent life is way more difficult for us than previous generations. Everything is much more expensive and jobs don’t really pay enough to have the lifestyle our parents had. Have your parents ever told you that by the time they were your age they already had their own house and car? How are things with you? Our way of life has changed so much in the last few years that parenthood is no longer something we all long for. And here are 10 reasons why:
I can barely pay for my expenses
This is probably one of the most common reasons, and it’s because of what I was mentioning before. We graduate from university expecting to get awesome jobs, but sadly, the well-paid jobs are few and difficult to find. Also, have you heard of student loans?
The world is such a mess that I feel it’s selfish to bring someone into the middle of it.
This of course is a personal opinion, everyone is entitled to their own views, I just feel it would be selfish. Wars, famine, abuse, global warming, do I need to say more? Seriously, who would want to raise a child in these conditions?
I don’t want to force my body to go through those changes
People often say that this is selfishness, but think about it. Why would they want me to have a kid for? Why am I being selfish; after all, it’s my body, it’s my life. I think I have the right to choose and decide for myself.
My career is my first priority
I love my career and I want to pursue a life in that field as far as I can go. I want to focus all my attention on that endeavor. Beyond that, we’re so many people in the world nowadays that having a BA isn’t enough to succeed in life.
I don’t think I’m mature enough to take care for another person
I still love doing silly and sometimes stupid things, so I don’t think I’m capable of taking care of a baby. Actually, sometimes I wonder how I’m still alive. And I mean it, I’m not exaggerating for the sake of this piece.
There are still so many things I want to do on my own
Sue me. I still want to visit many places and have experiences on my own. Yes, I can travel with a kid, but honestly, I don’t want to.
I don’t want to change my lifestyle
One of the things I literally live for is getting back from work, putting my pajamas, and watch movies. I want to be able to eat frozen food and instant soups without being judged.
I value my freedom
I enjoy not having any responsibility but myself. I love hanging out with friends, going on spontaneous road trips, and being able to do whatever comes into my mind without having to think about another person depending on me.
I don’t like kids, and they don’t like me either
I’d rather give all my love to an animal
You don’t have to have a baby to pour your love into another being.
Sometimes I still wonder if my classmates managed to follow their life agendas. If they did, they should be living in a fancy house with their two kids by now. Or did they change their mind? I bet some did because, while that idea of women longing to find the love of their lives and having the perfect family at an early age was something prevalent during the nineties, nowadays it has changed. Probably they still want that amazing life they once envisioned, but things do change with time, and we adapt ourselves to them. I, for instance, didn’t become the successful historian I wanted to become, but still managed to find a new passion.